Tips to answer questions from kids & advice for spouSES

Use age-appropriate, simple language without unnecessary graphic details.

Emphasize that you are trained, that safety protocols are followed, and that your team is trained the same way. Your job is to stay as safe as possible while helping other people stay safe.

If they are asking, it's likely because they are genuinely worried or concerned. Acknowledge that it's okay to be scared or sad, and that you want them to tell you when they are worried.

Frame the job and your responsibilities as the "calling" to help people, and that means helping make the community safe. 

First Responders OFTEN communicate in very direct, brief, or "gruff" ways due to the stress of the job. Communicate back calmly and openly - requesting for time to be set aside for conversation. Try not to take their 'work demeanor' personally.

Connect with other First Responder families (or people) that understand the unique challenges of the "calling" your Responder has chosen. We hope this website helps in that effort.

Your wellness (physical, mental, spiritual) is not selfish. It is essential. Ensure you take time for YOUR hobbies, health, and social life.

Allow your Responder time to decompress after a shift, or call. HOWEVER, set boundaries so this time does not decompensate into frequent total isolation.

When your Responder is ready to talk, validate their emotions without needing to offer solutions. Reflect (and communicate back) what you hear to ensure they feel heard. Avoid criticism, contempt, and defensiveness. Humor and empathy can help resolve disagreements.

Prioritize shared hobbies or date nights to uphold your connection. Communicating up-front about how the household responsibilities will be shared can reduce (or prevent) resentment.

Accept and recognize that your Responder will be close to co-workers, as they will frequently experience the same trauma together - and this bonds them. They also spend hours, if not days, together - this, again, bonds them.